CAMTIM - The Campaign for Real Time

From the works of Douglas Adams

Time Travel is increasingly regarded as a menace. History is being polluted.

One rationalization of the problem of how Time Travel was actually invented states that time travel was simultaneously discovered at all periods throughout history, but this is clearly bunk. The trouble is that a lot of history is now quite clearly bunk as well.

Here is an example, significant in that it was this event that caused the Campaign for Real Time (CAMTIM) to be set up in the first/last place (depending on which way you look at history).

There is/was a poet named Lallafa, and he wrote what are widely regarded as the best poems in existence, the "Songs of the Long Land". They are/were unspeakably wonderful, so you couldn't speak much of them at once without being overcome with emotion, truth, and the wholeness and oneness of it all you needed a quick walk round the block, possibly pausing for a quick glass of perspective and soda.

They were that good.

Lallafa had lived in the forests of the Long Lands of Effa. He wrote his poems there on pages made of dried habra leaves, without the benefits of Education or correcting fluid.
He wrote about the light in the forest and what he thought about that.
He wrote about the darkness in the forest and what he thought about that.
He wrote about the girl who had left him and precisely what he thought about that..

Long after his death his poems were found and wondered over. For centuries they watered and illuminated the lives of many whose lives might otherwise have been darker and drier.

After the invention of Time Travel some major correcting fluid manufacturers wondered if his poems might have been better still had he had access to some high quality correcting fluid and whether he could be persuaded to say a few words to that effect. They searched through time and found him, and, with a little difficulty, explained the situation to him and did indeed persuade him. In fact they persuaded him to such effect that he became extremely rich at their hands, the girl which he was otherwise destined to write about never got around to leaving him, and they moved out of the forest to a rather nice pad in town and he frequently commuted to the future to do chat shows on which he sparkled wittily.

He never got around to writing the poems, of course, which was a problem, but an easily solved one. The manufacturers of correcting fluid merely packed him off for a week with a copy of a later edition of his book and a stack of dried habra leaves to copy them onto, making the odd deliberate mistake and correction on the way.

Many people now say the poems are suddenly worthless. Others argue they are just the same as they always were so why argue? The first people say that that isn't the point. They aren't quite certain what the point is but they are quite sure that that isn't it. So they set up CAMTIM to try and stop this sort of thing going on. Their case was strengthened by the fact that a week after they had set themselves up, news broke that not only had the great Cathedral of Chalesm been pulled down in order to build a new ion refinery, but that the construction of the refinery had taken so long, and had had to extend so far into the past in order to allow production to start on time, that the Cathedral of Chalesm had now never been built in the first place. Picture postcards of the Cathedral now became immensely valuable.

So a lot of history is now gone for ever. The Campaign for Real Time claim that, just as easy travel eroded the differences between one country and another, or one world and another, so time travel is now eroding the differences between one age and another. "The Past", they say, "is like a foreign country. They do things exactly the same there."